Please Refrain from Calling Him an ******

Before I begin my first blog in this arena of life, let me give this disclaimer:

I do not claim to be a relationship expert. I do not have a PhD In psychology or behavioral sciences. However, I do have a PhD in my Life Experiences and a Diploma in life (I’m only 26 so I do have a lot more living to do!). I only claim to speak on what I learned from my own experience.

Now that we have that out of the way, here we go!

This entry is about fighting fair. In life we are bound to disagree or argue with people, especially those closest to you. These people include your mom, your husband, or your best friend. We can agree that if everyone thought like us, life would be utterly boring and therefore we would never grow as a person. When it comes to arguing or fighting fair in a verbal argument, one of the major things I’ve learned is that one has to fight fair, not fight dirty.

What do I mean by that? That means that when someone ticks you off, you should not go off and call them a b**** or an a**hole. Such a fighting style signals a serious lack of respect. Lack of respect can translate into a lack of love. I mean, its easier to tell a stranger to screw themselves when they cut us off in traffic because frankly, we don’t have any emotional connection to them and the chances of ever seeing them again is slim to none. They won’t give two more thoughts to you and you probably would do the same. However, if this person is your boyfriend or your best friend, this is so not the case.

Let’s think about it. If your husband calls you a b*** every time you and him argues, it would be safe for you to assume that he really thinks that of you. Now this may not actually be the case, but it would be kind of hard to argue against it if you hear it constantly whenever he doesn’t agree with you. Then resentment kicks in and what may seem like a simple or stupid argument can turn into something else. You can see and feel your husband disrespecting you with that one word. So lets’ flip this around and you’re the one saying it. Have an idea on how the person on the other end of that word feels?

I know you may be saying “But he really pisses me of sometimes”. Trust me – I totally understand. People can’t nor should always please us all the time so they are bound to piss us off. However, how you deal with it makes a difference. Even though you may not like the person you are arguing with at the time, you do love them and one of the ways you show you love them is to respect them. Respect is so important when it comes to arguing. Maintaining that level of respect allows you and the person you’re arguing to come to a solution and focus on what was said as opposed to what you name you called them. My experience has taught me that you can have an argument and be mature about it. Nothing gets accomplished by telling your man to go screw themselves or call your best friend a whore.

Bottom Line: Anger is no excuse for disrespect. So fight fair!